Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing

Written by Jay Stringer, Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing explores the deeper stories and emotional patterns that can contribute to unwanted sexual behavior. Stringer is a licensed therapist, minister, and researcher. The book is based on a multiyear research project involving more than 3,800 people seeking freedom from behaviors such as pornography use, affairs, or purchasing sex.

Rather than approaching sexual brokenness only as a problem to suppress, Stringer asks readers to examine why particular behaviors have become compelling. He argues that unwanted sexual behavior is often connected to unresolved pain, shame, isolation, trauma, family dynamics, and other unaddressed parts of a person’s story. Understanding those connections does not excuse harmful behavior. Instead, it can help readers identify the deeper areas that need healing if they want change to last.

The book combines Christian spiritual insight with a clinically informed perspective. Its tone is intended to reduce shame without minimizing responsibility. Readers are invited to move from secrecy and self-condemnation toward curiosity, honesty, and transformation.

Who may find this helpful? This resource may be especially valuable for someone who has focused primarily on rules, filters, and willpower but continues to relapse. It can also help pastors, mentors, accountability partners, and counselors better understand the complexity of sexual behavior. Readers who feel trapped by shame may find the book’s approach particularly meaningful: the unwanted behavior is not the end of the story, but it may reveal where deeper work is needed. Because the book addresses sensitive experiences, some readers may benefit from engaging with it alongside a qualified counselor.